so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
