I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
