it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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