we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
