and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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