So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
