I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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