Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
