So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
