i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
