I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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