Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just forgot I was standing up.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
