you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Your cock deserves a montage
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
