How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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