Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
