Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
