Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
