just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
