the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
