I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
