the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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