yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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