P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
