AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize