I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it's like iHOP with fire
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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