is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize