i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
