highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
