if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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