You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
