sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
