wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
