He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
