Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
