She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
