her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
