PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
