Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
