I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
