I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
