he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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