you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize