wat bout pragnant strippers??
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize