what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
