btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He did a backflip because drugs
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
