I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
