Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
