Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
