I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i came on her dog
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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