I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
