haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize