Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You don't make any sense
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