from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
they need to just BURY HIM!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
