she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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