don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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