Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
