I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
