he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
now i know why i became what i already was.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
