Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
