I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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