So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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