ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
