Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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