Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
They took my balls.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
